Sunday, June 2, 2013

The John Cena Problem

Seth Rollins: It would appear though we have a bit of a problem on our hands.

Flashy locations or in-ring promo's were not The Shield's style for anyone who had been keeping score at home. They filmed themselves and kept to small, confined spaces that wouldn't give away their location. After some digital glitching the face of Seth Rollins appeared on the screen. He loved to manipulate imagery to keep things unsettling and he used this tactic for maximum results. The flickering one the image would occasionally distort his voice, making it scarier or doubled. Weird, disturbing or unsettling flashes of images would briefly appear and vanish in an instant. Shrill or loud screams came and went without warning. He even used it to alter his own appearance from time to time, making the viewer feel as though they were on a really bad hallucinogenic trip.  

Seth Rollins: A problem that I thought we had finished at WrestleMania. Apparently we doubted the tenacity of one John Felix Anthony Cena. I suppose he is a lot like a phoenix, isn't he? Constantly returning from the ashes. But this time there isn't going to be a resurrection. John Cena will not be allowed to flash his dimples, click his heels together, and walk off without a care in the world. There is much soul crushing he's going to have to endure first. 

Seth smirked only for a quick second before holding up his black covered palms which were covered by the sleek, black gloves he typically wore.

Seth Rollins: And, yes, I realize that I'm not the first person to have threatened John Cena like this. In typical John Cena fashion, he will probably make a few not so clever quips, undoubtedly about my hair...

He glanced over to his long, thick locks and slipped a few fingers through the bleached blond portion of it.

Seth Rollins: ...threaten me back and proclaim to the whole world how he's going to defeat me soundly and walk out of the Saddledome Arena with not only his IC Title in tact and revenge freshly served. 

Seth slowly shook his head a few times while scowling in disapproval.  

Seth Rollins:  I'm afraid that scenario is not how things are going to be played out at Death Before Dishonor. There are two very distinct reasons why this is conflict is going to end very differently for him. First and foremost because we are not like anyone he has ever faced. 

Rollins placed a hand on his chest while the other ventured to the sky. 

Seth Rollins: "Yet another group of losers that will fail!" the beast bellows for his deprived, ignorant fan base who willingly shovel down every word. 

He was almost Shakespearean in his delivery of noble John Cena and he even gave one of his fists a shake to an invisible antagonist.   

Seth Rollins: This only proves how out of touch John is with reality. In his own, twisted little fairy tail that he calls home...he may truly believe we are like everyone who has ever tried to stare him down. Randy Orton was merely trying to protect his bloated title reign when he squared off with this barely human ape of a man. But we have no ego. Only a purpose. Brian Kendrick's mental instability led him to try and eradicate John Cena for his own personal enjoyment. But we no psychotic desires. All we're trying to do is put an end to this monster that's growing larger with every passing moment. This creature that thinks it can cause destruction and heartache everywhere it goes and never feel the consequences of it's actions. 

The second most recognizable member of The Shield shook a finger back and forth while making a "tsk" sound from the corner of his mouth.

Seth Rollins:  A hero is what they call him! A shining beacon in a world that desperately needs something to cling onto! Men, women and children all are un-ashamed to view him as their own personal Superman. Perhaps if there was a John Cena around during my childhood I could have turned out a little differently. Now, I'm sure John has talked to plenty of kids in his time so I hope my story doesn't bore him too much. I'll be brief.

Rollins gave pause for a moment while trying to recall the days of his youth.
 
Seth Rollins: I wasn't very well liked as a child. I was different. I had no one to look up to. There was no John Cena for me to vicariously live through. However, one day it all changed. I found a cat. Not a living one. Fresh road kill. Being the isolated and neglected child that I was, I decided to pick it up. I can still remember exactly how it looked. Bones sticking out, missing an eyeball, covered squirming bugs. 

His eyes became larger and his voice started to grow distant.

Seth Rollins: The other kids screamed and ran from me and it was then that I realized how much power fear can give you over someone else. I didn't get picked on anymore and scaring people became a lot of fun...especially those who deserved it.

This was one of the times that the distortion got heavy and horror movie like before regaining clarity.

Seth Rollins: So maybe if there was a guy like John Cena around I could have become one of his mindless, drooling, little robots. I might have turned out differently. So, for that, I'm entirely grateful that there wasn't a Cena forced into my subconscious on television every week. I'm grateful I'm not a zombie. Because I would idolize someone with an extensive and startling amount of mental problems. It is in my opinion that John Cena is not well. In fact, he is a complete and total lunatic. Once more I understand that I'm not the first person to say this about John Cena. He'll probably admit it himself, make light of my accusations, and I don't know, do a little jig to make his fans happy. It's all very interesting. 

He gave his chin a tap or two while trying to wrap his mind around the conundrum that is John Cena.

Seth Rollins:  This smiling, bear of a man with perfect looks and a chiseled body in bright, colorful, inviting colors. Like a great, welcoming protector of innocents. Which makes it all the more disturbing when you see the kind of man he truly is. The acts of violence he's capable of committing are not unlike something you might see in a torture porn movie. And The Shield is classified as having no mercy?! We're all about mercy! Everything we do is to benefit others and we put our bodies on the line each time! John Cena, confronted a member of The Shield who, by his own admission, had never even met John before. He begged, BEGGED for some form of compassion. Cena made him grovel first, humiliating him, and THEN he attacked him. Also while making sure to toss in his little signature taunt afterwords. 

Seth copied Cena's infamous "You Can't See Me" hand motion before shaking his head with a raised brow.

Seth Rollins:  ..I mean, honestly, what kind of allgedly sane person takes the time to do something like that? It's small things like that call his mental health into question. I'm taking it upon myself to finally put this rampaging monster down. This walking human imbalance. This monument to complete and utter insanity. I haven't forgotten WrestleMania when I had the chance to hospitalize one of the Ikeda's and John Cena tossed me off of a stage. He stopped me from performing the one act against someone so inhuman and cruel that would made that night completely perfect. I haven't forgotten for one moment. 

Having a frightened, and who he perceived as evil, Ikeda at his feet was a grand moment for young Seth until John Cena came stampeding in to ruin it all. It was obvious by his angry expression that this was still fresh in his mind. 

Seth Rollins: John Cena has tried to dicate terms to us while protecting one of those wretched little diva whores. His attacks stop when ours do? Our attacks are only beginning. He claims that we've started something couldn't finish. Make no mistake. I'm not leaving any room for error this time. At Death Before Dishonor...I'm ending John Cena. You can believe that. And you can believe...in The Shield.

Those last words were more growled than spoke and the glitchy video finally became nothing but static.

***            

"I wasn't even one of the guys who took you out at Mania.."

"You think that's all this is about?!"

This dialogue and memory was still fresh within his mind. It played over and over again on an endless loop.

"Tell your bosses, don't start what they can't finish. Tell them...when you wake up that is."

Then it all got blurry due to the searing amount of pain that went through his body. Taking an Attitude Adjustment on a concrete floor kept him from walking for about a week. It was obviously painful. But so was his embarrassment. He was face to face with John Cena and he was made to look like a complete coward. No one else in The Shield had ever shown such weakness and it was eating him up inside. They were just supposed to grab that woman backstage at Warfare. No one expected John Cena to show up after what had happened to him at 'Mania What if he had actually been a man and attacked Cena? Maybe then he would have gotten a bigger role like Roman Reigns. But instead he was looked upon as a joke. His name was Justin. A man in his early thirties. After his disgrace he wasn't allowed to dress in his Shield garb anymore. He had long brown hair, blue eyes and enough facial scruff to try and resemble a beard. He didn't look as though he fit in amongst the ranks of the Hounds of Justice in the first place. 

"...I hate John Cena...I hate John Cena...I hate John Cena..."

He kept repeating to himself in his broken down automobile. The car came to a stop at a desolate looking neighborhood where you didn't venture to in the middle of the night unless you could fight your way out of trouble. A small, GPS like monitor lit up. Inside of the screen was a shadow filled feed of Seth Rollins. 

Seth Rollins: ...If you hate John Cena so much...why didn't you do anything to him? 

Justin: I...I don't know. I froze. I panicked. Let me make this right! Let me go down to the ring with you. Let me help you get that title! I want to fight Cena!

Seth Rollins: Oh, don't be so dramatic. You're getting your chance to prove yourself right now. 

Justin had been instructed to bring his vehicle to this specific location. He was told that this is where his trial would take place. But he wasn't given any specifications as to what any of that meant.

Seth Rollins: Get out of the car. We'll see if you're ready to face down John Cena. 

As instructed, the disgraced Shield member exited his vehicle. Although there was some hesitation in his movements. He started to advance forward when someone began to approach him from an alley way. The black attire was unmistakable. It was one of his former comrades. And worst of all he was carrying a tire iron that he drug along behind him. Justin quickly retreated back into his car. He began to start it back up when Rollins' voice stopped him.

Seth Rollins: Not the best idea. Your brakes are cut.

Justin looked down to realize that this was a truthful statement. Someone had done this shortly after he left the car. His face was filled with alarm.

Seth Rollins: ...You wanted to know what it's like when you're up against Cena, right?

With the car far too dangerous to operate, Justin fled once again. Except now, to add to his misfortune, there were more men trickling out of the alleyway and they were all lugging tire irons along with them. He started to run. In the dark this was even more stres inducing as it was difficult to deduce just how many of them there were. And when you were scared every sound and every movement just made you feel less at easy. As Justin sprinted down the block he came face to face with...something. It couldn't have possibly been real. It didn't have any arms! Pale, disgusting looking skin that looked rubbery but somehow realistic at the same time. Hunched over with stringy black hair. Sores and other blemishes covered it's body as it shambled forward. Some kind of black colored liquid oozed out of it's mouth. This was all way too much. It was difficult for his mind to even focus on what was going on. It couldn't have been real but the imagery, everything weighing on his mind, the guys ready to pummel him to oblivion, his disgrace on national televsion. He promptly lost consciousness and collapsed onto the pavement.

Seth Rollins: ...I thought as much...

Obviously, Rollins wasn't too far off to watch this all go down as he stepped out of an alleyway and joined the others who stood over the fainted body. The "monster" was merely an elaborate outfit and a pair of arms popped out where the limbs were supposed to be. Another Shield stooge started to tear off the pieces of the spooky costume and removed the wig as well. It was painfully obvious. Justin was not ready to face John Cena and he was not Shield material.